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           Women! I find Women very interesting. Not just because men are naturally programmed to find them interesting, there is something to them which demands the attention of my aquarian curiosity. Just one chromosome different in the cellular level and what a difference it ramifies into in the macroscopic scale! the way women think is totally, i mean totally different from how men think. Maybe that is why I find "women" an interesting subject to ponder upon. I have been trying to grasp and understand the woman psyche. Naturally the first subject of my study is my mom. Now, my parents are from a conservative rural background.  So from early on, i was aware of the social inequality and male chauvinism and stuff. In fact this early awareness is what has made me a feminist. Most guys find the term "feminist" uncomfortable because they think that the term has an effect on their sexuality. But, I know that I am man enough and I am not afraid to be tagged as a feminist.

               But my conventional bringing up and the environment i was in has poured in some of the chauvenism inside me too!. Its like my nature is something but I have realized something else is right and i try to stick to what is right. For eg, I feel that women should have active career and social life, but my girlfriend did find sometimes my behaviour to contradict that feeling. Its a war! A war between what is right and what i(currently) am! Since I am confronting it inside myself, i find it easy to fight the chauvinism outside me; around me

            For a major part of my life I have been exposed to women in the role of a mother. This has biased my views considerably which i came to realize recently during a discussion with one of my friends. I was debating that mother's day is also a day of celebration of women other than woman's day. My reason being that motherhood is nothing but womanhood expressed in its strongest and most beautiful form. But she told me that many women would take offence on my reason. It was a great shock to me! Why would any girl feel offended for associating her womanhood with motherhood? I thought rather she would feel proud... I couldnt initially believe it. But slowly I realized that it is a natural reaction. We  have been forcing women into motherhood in a way equivalent to slavery/slaughter that during this age of transformation where woman liberty is slowly being realized,  women actually feel repelled by motherhood. It is then, natural that they find my reason offensive.But soon after liberation is fully realized, women will cool down and start looking at motherhood differently. But that doesnt mean my reasoning is correct too. Motherhood is not  "the strongest" way in which womanhood can be expressed. Its just one of the many ways which a woman can put to use her womanhood. But as I have witnessed womanhood expressed only in the form of motherhood most of the time, i have come to a subconcsious conclusion that motherhood is "the strongest" form of womanhood. In the future, when liberation is complete and equilibrium  is achieved, my reasons will still be flawed but also women will take my reasons to be rather weird than offensive.

Until such a time comes, the war rages on...

cook book

             Recently i read a book titled blink. The author discusses about the subconscious and the decisons we make there without being consciously aware. It srtikes me because there were a couple of instances, when, i have personaly  realized that some thoughts  and opinions i had in my mind  was not out of conscious decisons but had been formed in a subconscious state and were slowly pushed up into my consciousness. Everytime, the realization came when someone asked me some question related to that opinion, like," why do u prefer this?"  or" whats the reason behind your view?"

              Thats when i realize that i'm consciously aware of my opinion but do not have any record of how i came about forming that opinion. Such questions take us by surprise. And many a times we try to cook up some answer and eventually we end up  believing that the cooked up reason is the real reason behind our opinion. For eg, in sports i dont prefer playing cricket, and when someone asks me why, i say its because, i dont go to sports ground often and when i do, i want to use the entire time spending my energy and working my muscles but in cricket, only two people are active in an instant and so i find it a waste of time. I know for sure that this is not the reason why i initially formed dislike towards the game.But i've used this cooked up reason so many times that i cannot find the actual reason. 

                   Extending this line of thought i came to realize another beautiful phenomenon. We form a theory or opinion or we read about something and ponder over it choosing our sides. Untill the instant we put such thoughts into words and write them down or tell it to someone, the entire thought process has some level of vagueness and abstractness. And in the process of telling it to someone, we realize that the thought has some gaps to fill or even sometimes it so happens that we evolve a better version of the thought or in some extreme cases we realize there is a flaw and arrive at an opinion entirely opposite to our initial thought  just by trying to put it in words! Now, why am i writing down all this? Because i am about to pen down some of my profound( this term is relative, confined to universal set of my thoughts alone) thoughts which i have rarely discussed with someone in my subsequent posts and any comment/debate on them are welcome. Infact I want you friends to share your views about those topics starting from this post which will help us in refining each others' ideas